Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, but a person does not actually have to be alone to feel lonely and this is often misunderstood. Many people choose to live and be alone and are very happy and not lonely. Loneliness is feeling alone and feeling unhappy.

Most people are naturally social and crave interaction, discussion, laughs, physical contact etc. and when these needs are not met we can feel lonely. A person can experience loneliness in a crowded pub, in a busy street, in a relationship, in a family or in the absence of any of these. They often feel isolated or cut-off from the world and the people about them as though they are not part of the world.

What makes people lonely?

Loneliness can come from many different places and different people will be affected in different ways, there are no fixed rules. Some people feel lonely through the circumstances they are in and for others loneliness can be a longer term and enduring experience.

Circumstances

There are many personal circumstances that may lead to your sense of loneliness:

  • loss of someone close to you
  • relationship break-up
  • are a single parent or caring for someone else
  • retirement
  • older age when going out might be harder
  • moving to a new area without family, friends or community networks
  • belonging to a minority ethnic group without local support or community
  • experiencing discrimination and stigma
  • having experienced abuse – you may find it hard to form close relationships with other people.

N.B. This is by no means a complete list and there are many other circumstances that may cause someone to feel lonely.

Enduring deep loneliness

Some people feel lonely despite having a strong social network or a close family or being in a loving relationship. These people may struggle with liking themselves or allowing themselves to be liked and make lack self-confidence. This may come from experiences as a child where they did not feel loved, maybe through neglect or abuse, and this can persist into adulthood and into relationships.

Some people choose the isolation in which they live for fear of being hurt but also struggle with feelings of loneliness.

Useful Resources

Samaritans – 116 123
http://www.samaritans.org/

The Silver Line – 0800 4 70 80 90
https://www.thesilverline.org.uk/

 

 

 

Lonely Depressed man with Suicidal thoughts

How can counselling help?

A person can experience loneliness in a crowded pub, in a busy street, in a relationship, in a family or in the absence of any of these. They often feel isolated or cut-off from the world and the people about them as though they are not part of the world.

 

Is it time to talk?

Active Thinking ... our blog

The Love Trap

I’ve been bad :( It’s mental health awareness week again and I realise I haven’t posted for ages :(( In fact while I'm kicking myself, I’ve also been eating too much sugar and I haven’t done enough exercise, the car needs washing and ... :(((( I can feel my head...

Who needs feelings anyway?

Someone once described emotions as lights on our dashboard. They indicate that something needs our attention under the hood. We can ignore the light, turn it off, even break it. We may be able to carry on for a while, maybe indefinitely limp along, but is it safe and are we the best us that we can be? The problem doesn’t go away unless we look at it.

And…how are you?

This time of year there are traditionally two strong messages circulating from all corners of society.

The Anxious Child

WARNING: the following post is NOT yet another reason to feel like a bad parent. No need to grit your teeth in anguish as you anticipate being shown yet another error in your ways. If your child is fed, deflead and relatively clean, had a real vegetable at some point...

Lonely Depressed man with Suicidal thoughts
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, but a person does not actually have to be alone to feel lonely and this is often misunderstood. Many people choose to live and be alone and are very happy and not lonely. Loneliness is feeling alone and feeling unhappy.

Most people are naturally social and crave interaction, discussion, laughs, physical contact etc. and when these needs are not met we can feel lonely. A person can experience loneliness in a crowded pub, in a busy street, in a relationship, in a family or in the absence of any of these. They often feel isolated or cut-off from the world and the people about them as though they are not part of the world.

What makes people lonely?

Loneliness can come from many different places and different people will be affected in different ways, there are no fixed rules. Some people feel lonely through the circumstances they are in and for others loneliness can be a longer term and enduring experience.

Circumstances

There are many personal circumstances that may lead to your sense of loneliness:

  • loss of someone close to you
  • relationship break-up
  • are a single parent or caring for someone else
  • retirement
  • older age when going out might be harder
  • moving to a new area without family, friends or community networks
  • belonging to a minority ethnic group without local support or community
  • experiencing discrimination and stigma
  • having experienced abuse – you may find it hard to form close relationships with other people.

N.B. This is by no means a complete list and there are many other circumstances that may cause someone to feel lonely.

Enduring deep loneliness

Some people feel lonely despite having a strong social network or a close family or being in a loving relationship. These people may struggle with liking themselves or allowing themselves to be liked and make lack self-confidence. This may come from experiences as a child where they did not feel loved, maybe through neglect or abuse, and this can persist into adulthood and into relationships.

Some people choose the isolation in which they live for fear of being hurt but also struggle with feelings of loneliness.

Useful Resources

Samaritans – 116 123
http://www.samaritans.org/

The Silver Line – 0800 4 70 80 90
https://www.thesilverline.org.uk/

 

 

 

How can counselling help?

A person can experience loneliness in a crowded pub, in a busy street, in a relationship, in a family or in the absence of any of these. They often feel isolated or cut-off from the world and the people about them as though they are not part of the world.

 

Is it time to talk?

Active Thinking ... our blog

The Love Trap

I’ve been bad :( It’s mental health awareness week again and I realise I haven’t posted for ages :(( In fact while I'm kicking myself, I’ve also been eating too much sugar and I haven’t done enough exercise, the car needs washing and ... :(((( I can feel my head...

Who needs feelings anyway?

Someone once described emotions as lights on our dashboard. They indicate that something needs our attention under the hood. We can ignore the light, turn it off, even break it. We may be able to carry on for a while, maybe indefinitely limp along, but is it safe and are we the best us that we can be? The problem doesn’t go away unless we look at it.

And…how are you?

This time of year there are traditionally two strong messages circulating from all corners of society.

The Anxious Child

WARNING: the following post is NOT yet another reason to feel like a bad parent. No need to grit your teeth in anguish as you anticipate being shown yet another error in your ways. If your child is fed, deflead and relatively clean, had a real vegetable at some point...

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